“Reconciliation Amongst Believers”
Matthew 18:15-20 – September 10, 2023
I love reading children’s story books out loud. I read lots of them to my children when they were young, as I did for the preschoolers here in the full-day preschool. One that intrigues me is called Enemy Pie by Derek Munson. It’s told from a first-person perspective. A new boy, Jeremy, moves in next door to our narrator. Somehow, the boy next door becomes “enemy number one” on our narrator’s list.
That scenario sounds so familiar! Doesn’t it? Someone on your block does something foolish that makes you SO mad, you can’t stand it! Or, someone at your work says something SO outrageous, you almost can’t work with them anymore! Or, someone at church acts SO … SO … “un-Christian” that you almost … well, you can finish that sentence, can’t you?
Back to our book, Enemy Pie. Our narrator’s Dad has a recipe for enemy pie, and promises to make it. Our narrator needs to help his dad by providing one of the secret ingredients – he needs to play with Jeremy from next door for one entire day, treating him well. You all know what happens. Of course, while the two boys talk and play together, Jeremy morphs from an enemy into a friend. [1]
I suspect we all are familiar with certain people who hold grudges, or family members who end up not talking with each other for years, sometimes even decades. These verses today from Matthew 18 speak about people in a church having disagreements, even feuds. Yes, Matthew uses the term “church,” which is only used twice in any of the Gospels. Is church supposed to be where we come on Sunday morning to worship God? And then, go home or about our business for the rest of the week? Or, is it someplace more? Much more?
In Jesus’s time, in the Jewish community and culture, one thing that was very common was debate. Jesus’s world was socially combative. People debated with each other not only to score “points” against the other person, but also to build up one’s own reputation. Imagine, constantly being on your guard against having someone engage you – or a member of your family – in debate or argument, for the sake of scoring “points” against you! And reputation was everything! Not just causing offense or hurting the feelings of another person. [2]
What’s more, this attitude was not only between individuals. “People used gossip, rumor, and slander in the same way. This conflicting spirit spilled over into family honor. One slight could escalate into a generations-long feud where both sides forgot the original incident.” [3]
I want you to hear the Rabbi Jesus bringing up this topic of hurts, and sin, and dishonor, and slights of one person against another. These were fighting words! I am absolutely sure there were people listening to Jesus that day who had active feuds going on with neighbors, or extended family members, or people they had been avoiding for years in town.
I remember back to when I was growing up, on my parents’ block in Chicago. Two families who lived next door to one another had a longtime feud going on. I don’t know what the feud was all about, but it was very bitter. One side had a mean old man who used to shake his fist and yell at any kid who accidentally set a foot on his neatly clipped front lawn.
On the other side of the feud was a family who were friendly with all of the people on the block. The two daughters of the second family were friends with my older sisters, and went to school with them. Sometime during this feud, the sour old man actually set up a spite fence between the houses, twelve feet high. That fence stayed there for decades until the mean old man died, all alone in his house.
Let’s hear again what our Lord Jesus said in this reading. “15 “If another believer hurts you, go and talk to him about it in private. If he really hears you and does something about it, he will become a true friend.” This is a phrase that has also been translated “you have won them over.” I much prefer “become a true friend!” These words of Jesus are truly about reconciliation and restoring relations between people. Turning enemies into friends!
I wonder whether that sour old man on my block might have listened to Jesus and His message about sin, and restoration and reconciliation? I wonder whether the two families on my block could ever have made up and become friends?
In a world full of disputes, fighting, disagreements, sin, hurts, and dishonor, the Rabbi Jesus came in as a breath of fresh air. New ideas, certainly! Jesus proclaimed the concept of reconciliation of people with God, in a vertical direction. That was what He repeated again and again, that each of us has the opportunity to become reconciled, and restored, and returned to a loving relationship with God our heavenly Parent.
It is not only between humans and God – Jesus also wanted humans to be reconciled with one another. Right here in Matthew 18, Jesus gives a three-step process for reconciliation. Believers in Christ have the opportunity to have their friendship restored. And, Christian love serves to glue the community – the congregation – together, in the name of Christ.
“Here in the Gospel of Matthew, ‘it is the function of the church to be a force for reconciliation. You could argue that, from a gospel perspective, it is the only function of the church. We are in the business of putting things together, of healing the breaches between people, of overcoming that which keeps us apart. It is about making sure that no one feels like an outsider.’” [4]
What a concept, and what an opportunity! We, as followers of Christ, have the possibility to bring people together. Jesus tells us how to do it, right here. if even a handful of us would begin to do as Jesus did, the world’s culture would begin to shift. And then we practice it: how to talk to one another when we disagree, or are wounded, or are afraid. [5]
Just as Jesus brings each of us to His Heavenly Father, so each of us has the opportunity to bring each other together. Bring each other together in reconciliation and restoration, and especially bring each other together in forgiveness.
It is not easy! And, that’s an understatement! But, Jesus will be with us, every step of the way. As Jesus recommended, so let us do. Alleluia, amen.
(Suggestion: visit me at my other blogs: matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers. #PursuePEACE – and A Year of Being Kind . Thanks!
[1] http://worshipingwithchildren.blogspot.com/2014/08/year-proper-18-23rd-sunday-in-ordinary.html
[2] http://www.word-sunday.com/Files/a/23-a/A-23-a.html
[3] Ibid
[4] https://www.umcdiscipleship.org/worship-planning/the-journey-begins/fifteenth-sunday-after-pentecost-year-a-lectionary-planning-notes/fifteenth-sunday-after-pentecost-year-a-preaching-notes
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