Tag Archives: loss

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Who Does Jesus Love?

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“Who Does Jesus Love?”

John 11:32-44 – Sunday, November 3, 2024

            Today is All Saints Sunday. A lot of people think of “saints” as super-holy people. Like St. Francis of Assisi, or Mother Teresa, or St. Ignatius of Loyola. These people and many other titled saints are super-stars (or, super-saints) of the faith! What kinds of things do you think about when you consider these super-holy people? Do they pray all the time? Do they do good works for God all the time? Or, what exactly do they do all day long? And when they get to heaven, do they play harps all the time?

            When we consider the people of the Bible, many of them are considered saints. Yet, if we read more closely, almost every person recorded in the Bible – either in the Hebrew Scriptures or the New Testament – displays very human characteristics! They show very human emotions, grieve, cry, get mad, say or do stupid things, and sometimes even worse.  

            Listen to Mary of Bethany as she pours out her agonized heart to her friend the Rabbi Jesus, and the following, very human exchange: “Mary came to where Jesus was waiting and fell at his feet, saying, “Master, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

 When Jesus saw her sobbing and the Jews with her sobbing, a deep anger welled up within him. He said, “Where did you put him?”“Master, come and see,” they said. Now Jesus wept.”

            Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary has several definitions for “saint,” including “one of the spirits of the departed in heaven” and “one of God’s chosen and usually Christian people.” [1] This definition is more broad than what people often think of, when they think about saints. If we take this broader definition to heart, we can think of all Christians as being saints, and all of the people in the Hebrew Scripture as being saints, too.  

            Our Scripture reading today from the Gospel of John is often read during Lent, during the period right before Easter. However, this reading is also read on All Saints Sunday, as a witness to the power of our Lord Jesus over death. This reading is also lifted up in the African American tradition in a service of healing, for those suffering emotional distress, grief, divorce, and physical ailments. This healing also “speaks to a range of human issues and concerns. Suffering often drives individuals to petition for God’s healing.” [2]

            Whether we come to the Gospel of John expecting healing, or in preparation for Easter, or to commemorate all the saints, this reading remains one of the most hopeful, one of the most triumphant proclamations in the Bible. Our Lord Jesus has power over the living and the dead.

            Yet, here we are, on All Saints Sunday. Consider our Lord Jesus – or, the Rabbi Jesus, as He was considered then. His reaction to the death of Lazarus brings the reality of death close to us all. Jesus wept! He wept over his friend Lazarus. As our commentator Karoline Lewis says, “death is inevitable, and its pain, its loss, its cause for anger is all true and real.” She is speaking to preachers, like me. We are working professionals, who bear the hard part of death, being in the business of tending its consequences to those we professionally care for, yet so often do not take the time for our own personal sadness and grief. [3]

            How often do we tell ourselves that we will grieve “later on,” after we finish this necessary paperwork, or after we make these phone calls, or after we do these needed errands, putting off the grieving, the pain, the loss of our loved ones.

            The message we receive from the Gospel of John today tells us in detail about the raising of Lazarus. But before that happens, his sisters are devastated! Who wouldn’t be? A loved one’s death is devastating, even if death is a blessed release or a welcome and final end of pain.

I know, in my life, it is difficult for me to get up and get going when I feel devastated. It’s so hard to continue doing the normal, everyday things that need to get done in my life.  Have you ever experienced this kind of an invisible wall? Or, has someone close to you ever come up against something like this? These kinds of deep feelings happen with sad regularity among people who have just lost a loved one, a dear relative.

So many people let us down, here in this world. Either on purpose, or accidentally. Even unconsciously, sometimes. I know, it still happens. We get let down, time and again. It feels like a punch in the gut, sometimes! It hurts!

Here is where this Scripture reading comes in. It works on our hearts, draws each of us closer. We see the grief Jesus clearly felt, being disturbed at death and at the brokenness of this world, as we see Him approach the tomb. The wonder of Lazarus stepping out and the command to unbind him is a certain and sure symbol and promise of the freedom we will all know one day! And surely, this points to God’s Power, God’s Grace and God’s Gifts, for all of us. [4]

            We gather together here, in this place, to remember our friends and relatives each of us has lost, whether in this past year or in years past. Yes, we grieve and mourn. It is fitting and right that we do so. We are reminded that Jesus wept at the grave of Lazarus.

There is a tension we hold – holding many complicated emotions, holding grief and mourning, and at the same time joy and gratitude as we sit with the stark fact of missing our friends, our relatives who have died. And yes, we can rejoice as we consider “the promise and hope of the Resurrection and that even as Lazarus and his beloved family are privileged to live into that promise in this life even now, so are we [for the resurrection life to come]. So are we. Thank God, so are we.” [5]

Our Scripture reading today asks us to reflect that Jesus is, indeed, the Resurrection and the Life, not just for the crisis moment of death, but for all moments in life. Jesus announces that the world is definitively under God’s care and power. And, John chapter 11 offers all of us the promise about how each of us can live our lives today, not just about how our days will end. [6]

Is there someone you particularly remember, or especially miss? Someone who has crossed that river Jordan to join our Lord Jesus in the heavenly places? We have candles here. I invite anyone who wishes to come, to light candles for those loved ones. Light them in your hearts as well, as we come together in gentle comfort and encouragement of each other.

As we lean on relationship with each other in this life, even when faced with death itself, we see with eyes of hope that new life can spring up, through faith in Jesus Christ.  Yes, there is a balm in Gilead to heal the sin-sick soul, to make the wounded whole, and His name is Jesus. Alleluia, amen!  

@chaplaineliza

(Suggestion: visit me at my other blogs: matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers. #PursuePEACE – and  A Year of Being Kind . Thanks!

[1] https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/saint

[2] http://www.theafricanamericanlectionary.org/PopupLectionaryReading.asp?LRID=64

[3] https://www.workingpreacher.org/dear-working-preacher/for-all-the-saints-2

[4] http://dancingwiththeword.com/these-precious-gifts-of-all-saints-day/

[5] Ibid.

[6] O’Day, Gail R., Gospel of John, New Interpreter’s Bible Commentary, Vol. 9 (Abington Press, 1996) 695.

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Godly Weeping

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“Godly Weeping”

John 11-35 Jesus wept, rain

John 11:1-45 (11:35-36) – March 29, 2020

Who has ever grieved for a loved one when that loved one has died? All of us can remember times when we grieved a close relative or a close friend. Such a common response. Whether outwardly or inwardly expressed, it is difficult to deal with mourning and grief.

When Lent started this February, not many people expected the corona virus to become so serious, so quickly. So many people becoming sick, hospitalized, and even dying. Imagine the helplessness of relatives, friends and other loved ones when someone so abruptly falls ill. Added to that, what do friends and loved ones do when they are not allowed to see patients in the hospital, in intensive care, even on a deathbed? It’s a difficult complication to grief.

For our Scripture reading today, we have the raising of Lazarus from John 11. The apostle takes us through a series of scenes. Jesus and His disciples arrive in Bethany after several days, and Lazarus has already died. Lazarus was a dear friend of Jesus, along with Lazarus’s sisters Martha and Mary. Several days before, the sisters urgently sent to Jesus, begging Him to come and heal their brother, Jesus’ friend. Then, Lazarus was dead, in the tomb. Mary and Martha were devastated, and their community gathered around them, to grieve with them.

What about dying, mourning and grief today? “When someone dies it is generally publicly acknowledged. Friends and family gather, life is celebrated, love is celebrated, the bereaved feel supported while their community gathers. Healing begins in time, and the lives of the ones that are living go forward still carrying the grief. Grief out of loss is validating, our society tells us that it is right and acceptable to experience anger, sadness, depression when a loved one dies.” [1]

We note specific mourning and grieving practices in the first century. The Gospels mention funerals and grieving several times when Jesus performs miracles. Like, for example, right here. Mary and Martha’s friends, acquaintances and community gather around, even four days after the burial of Lazarus. They come together to mourn with the sisters, and weep.

As I have been meditating on John 11 this week, I see that Jesus wept. He wept in company with Mary and Martha, He wept because He mourned Lazarus’ passing, and He was surrounded by people who were grieving. Added to that deep emotion was the anger from some who thought (or openly said), “This Jesus could have come back a couple of days ago, before Lazarus died! Jesus healed others…why couldn’t He heal His good friend?”

Anger, yes. Sadness, depression, hopelessness, even paralysis. All of these are expressions of grief. But, grief can come from many different things, many different losses.

Today, vast numbers of people are grieving. “Disenfranchised grief comes when we experience loss that is not associated with a death. Many in our community are grieving the distance between family and friends and sometimes that distance is as much as a house or a few blocks away. Disenfranchised loss comes when our loss we are experiencing is not validated by our community, when it is not publicly acknowledged. Grief many are experiencing in light of COVID 19 can easily be dismissed because we have all had to give up the running of our daily lives, in whatever capacity that involves.” [2]

Jesus truly, deeply grieved with Martha and Mary. Reading along, we see that He wept. Those around Him said, “See, how much the Rabbi Jesus loved Lazarus!”

When I was a hospital chaplain for almost ten years, I worked nights and weekends. I would be called to emergencies in intensive care, cardiac care, end-of-life care, and thrust into heartrending situations where I scrambled to be present with grieving people. I needed to come alongside of traumatized loved ones at the absolute worst times of their lives. It is a humbling, devastating experience. But, I never had to be a hospital chaplain in the face of a pandemic.

Do we remember that Jesus said, “I am the Resurrection and the Life” before He wept with Martha?

He goes on to say, “The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; whoever lives by believing in me will never die.” Martha makes that great statement of belief, “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.” Even at the grave of her newly dead brother, Martha makes that ringing statement of trust. Even in the face of desperate losses from loss of a job, or loss of a spouse, loss from a disaster, or loss of a sense of home and of place—can we echo her words today?

But, this is not the end of the story. After Jesus weeps with the sisters, sharing their grief, He performs another mighty miracle. Jesus tells Lazarus to come forth, out of the tomb, and Lazarus does exactly that. Alive!

Jesus conquered grief, mourning and loss. Both here in John 11, with the raising of Lazarus, and in the Resurrection, when Jesus triumphed over death once and for all. Praise God, we can believe Jesus. Praise God, we can trust in Jesus, and although we may weep and grieve for the present time, our weeping will ultimately turn to joy. Amen.

[1] Jess Swance, meditation on “Disenfranchised Grief in Our Communities” (personal article)

[2] Ibid.

(I would like to thank Jess Swance. For this sermon, I have used several quotes and ideas from a personal, unpublished meditation she wrote. I appreciate you, Jess!)

@chaplaineliza

(Suggestion: visit me at my regular blog for 2020: matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers. #PursuePEACE – and my other blog,  A Year of Being Kind . Thanks!

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Don’t Be Troubled

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“Don’t Be Troubled”    

John 14-27 don't be afraid, words

John 14:1-4, 25-27 (14:27) – August 26, 2018 – from Dave Ivaska’s book Be Not Afraid

Have you ever felt the pain and loss of an upcoming separation, even before it actually happened? Perhaps a good friend or relative is moving far away, soon Or, maybe a loved one is seriously ill in the hospital, in fact, terminally ill. You deeply feel the upcoming, approaching loss even when your loved one is still right there, with you.

Those two situations, those two instances are similar to what actually happened to the disciples. For all they knew, their Rabbi Jesus was going away, permanently. Jesus knew He was going to be parted from His friends for a while. Jesus gave His farewell speech in the Upper Room. What could any of the disciples do or say?

Let us back up a bit. The disciples did not anticipate exactly what events were going to happen. It is not that He kept quiet about His leaving and going away. It was others, the disciples, who said, “Where are you going, Lord?”  What could some possibly hear that Jesus said would happen?

Here in the Gospel of John, the writer John wanted everyone to know that Jesus was in His final efforts to convince His disciples. Jesus knew very well what was going to happen. This discourse is one of utmost significance. Jesus gave the fullest explanation in answering these questions, and in expressing His longing, His care in this Upper Room discourse.

I realize that we here in suburban Chicago are not quite as familiar with the extent of the separation, heightened fear, and anxiety the disciples were facing during that Passion Week before Jesus’s crucifixion. But, many people today do face separation, and anxiety, too. In some cases, their feelings and emotions might border on severe fear, even terror. And, in some cases, these feelings and emotions are diagnosed as mental health challenges.

“According to U.S.A. Today (11/16/11), ‘More than 20 percent of American adults took at least one drug for conditions like anxiety and depression in 2010 … including more than one in four women.’ The Anxiety and Depression Association of America reports (adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics, bold type theirs), ‘Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older (18% of U.S. population).’” [1]

Thank God, we do have ways of managing that anxiety, even severe fear, today. Let me say that the various types of therapy and group support and medication we have available to us are all valid. These are all ways to manage anxiety and fear. Jesus gives us another way of managing our anxiety and fear, too.

Listen to the words that Jesus had for us in the reading today, from the new, modern translation “The Message.” From John 14: 1-4 “Don’t let this throw you. You trust God, don’t you? Trust me. There is plenty of room for you in my Father’s home. If that weren’t so, would I have told you that I’m on my way to get a room ready for you? And if I’m on my way to get your room ready, I’ll come back and get you so you can live where I live. And you already know the road I’m taking.”

The words that we are more familiar with, “Do not be troubled,” Eugene Peterson translates “Don’t let this throw you.” The disciples had good reason to be troubled and afraid! They knew that the Jewish leaders were out to get their leader, their Rabbi. And yet—Jesus had walked straight into the trap the leaders were setting for Him. Talk about anxiety! The disciples had every right to be scared to death!

Yes, separation can be triggered by fear and anxiety; in certain of the disciples’ cases, the fear and anxiety of just not knowing. Not knowing anything. That can be a scary prospect, indeed. The disciples enjoyed a deep intimacy with their Rabbi Jesus. Thus, “the disciples were full of fearful questions when Jesus announced His departure. Yet Jesus understood their troubled hearts and assured them of a continued home together.” [2]

That was in the case of the disciples, two thousand years ago. But, what about us, today? We can see from Jesus’s words that He means a relational dimension to our interaction with Him. Yes, we can enjoy intimacy with each other, and intimacy with God. At the same time, we can be fearful and anxious at the prospect of separation—even that most permanent of separation, death itself.

How can we sort out these deep-seated feelings? Yes, fear and anxiety are part and parcel of all of us human beings. These feelings are part of our emotional make-up. Jesus goes right to the heart of our fear of separation and loss of intimacy with His words that tell us “I’m getting a room ready for you!” This image describes “the mutuality and reciprocity of the relationship of God and Jesus… [In fact,] Jesus uses the domestic image to say ‘My return to God will make it possible for you the join in the relationship that the Father and I share.’” [3]

How awesome is that? We all can join in on that relationship. Jesus lovingly invites us into that family relationship with God our heavenly Father.

But, that is not all, especially at this stressful, anxious, fear-producing time right before Jesus knows He is going to be arrested and crucified.  Listen to our Lord’s assurance to us, from Peterson’s modern translation of John 14:25-27: “I’m telling you these things while I’m still living with you. The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you. I’m leaving you well and whole. That’s my parting gift to you. Peace. I don’t leave you the way you’re used to being left—feeling abandoned, bereft. So don’t be upset. Don’t be distraught.”

As if a close relationship with Jesus is not enough, He even promises us the gift of a dear Friend, the indwelling Holy Spirit. Even more amazing!

We are encouraged to think carefully about whether or not we have truly laid hold of the cure for troubled hearts that Jesus promises in our scripture reading today. “Faith in Christ’s person and hope in Christ’s promise will comfort your troubled heart. You may think, ‘That’s overly simplistic! That’s a nice thought, but it’s impractical and out of touch with reality!’ But these are the words of the Lord Jesus Christ to troubled hearts. Either His words are true or they’re not.” [4]

Do you hear? Jesus did not leave His disciples abandoned and bereft, all alone, fearful with separation anxiety. What is more, Jesus does not leave us alone today, either. Sure, we may go through difficult times, but Jesus promises to walk with us.

We will have challenges and difficulty in this world, true, yet we have an intimate relationship with God freely offered to us. So, that is our Lord’s parting gift to us all. His peace. Don’t be upset. Don’t be distraught. Be not afraid. We have Jesus’s word on it.

Alleluia, amen.

[1] bible.org/seriespage/lesson-75-comfort-troubled…

https://bible.org/seriespage/lesson-75-comfort-troubled-hearts-john-141-11

[2] Ivaska, David, Be Not Afraid (Downers Grove, Illinois: InterVarsity Press, 2000), 110.

[3] O’Day,Gail R., The Gospel of John, New Interpreters Bible Commentary, Vol. 9 (Nashville, TN: Abingdon Press, 1995), 741.

[4] bible.org/seriespage/lesson-75-comfort-troubled…

https://bible.org/seriespage/lesson-75-comfort-troubled-hearts-john-141-11

@chaplaineliza

(Suggestion: visit me at my regular blog for 2018: matterofprayer: A Year of Everyday Prayers. #PursuePEACE – and my other blog,  A Year of Being Kind . Thanks!)